sâmbătă, 27 septembrie 2014

Elegy


You may break my heart
But don’t wake up my spirit
My mind is shaped like a bruise
Don’t make me happy
Then dress me in black
Don’t say you are forever young
When all you hope is to stop me from being strong.

We are all paper planes, purposeless in vain, living in the memory of our Other, which is inseparable from our own existence. Don’t tell me you can cross any waters for me or become my saviour. Don’t ask me to walk in your shoes then abandon me in the desert of your heart with nothing but the thoughts of a future in shades of utopia.
Don’t dare, don’t dare to hold me and then release me and not even look when I fall down like Icarus. Don’t make me a mountain of pain and remorse when you could potentially turn me into your casual sun. Yes I want to be your September sun, warming you up gently, I want to embrace your every single word and make love to your memory. Because that’s all I have. 


don’t walk on the same road with me but at least look at how my road looks because of you, the changes you brought.  You are trapped under my skin but wasn’t there a piece of you that didn’t want to escape? Isn’t there a part of your whispers that wanted a temporary shelf, an intimate shelter like my mind? It felt like it, but here I am now standing on the road where we meet. It’s 3 am and I’m just as empty as you found me at first, I had to empty myself of everything as the thought of you weighted more than my whole life. 


Still wondering if you are rather a shadow, a fragment of my imagination or just a scent of indignation

marți, 23 septembrie 2014

A form of sincerity: temporary love


Distanta dintre noi, zapada eterna si o cafea. O cafea care sa topeasca dozele din iubirile temporare adunate in bratele tale.  Cand ma imbratisezi incet sa fiu rationala, alba, cu ochii deschisi si usor melancolica, devin muta si nemiscata ca intr-un portret al lui Berger, linii frante, ondulate in colturi si mirosind a cobalt. Tu cel care nu iubeste femeile deloc esti la fel de rece precum gandul ca valul de caldura nu se va mai intoarce nicicand.
In insula fara nume tu esti un strain si numele tau rezoneaza cu absenta si abis.  Noaptea eterna e in spatele chipului tau pentru ca tu nu esti tu decat prin ei care iti confirma lipsa de sentiment.
Iti comprimi personalitatea intr-un pahar si exista un pericol de viata la fiecare moarte emotionala prin care treci.

As vrea ca prin ochii mei sa vezi lumea, lumea mea fosforescenta, in care ploua prea des, in care ma impiedic de fiecare virgula si cuvant cand uit sa vorbesc cu tine. Ma bucur ca ma consideri naiva si epuizabila ca soarele de noiembrie. Pe deasupra aripilor unui pescarus se lasa ceata. Nu e nimic de vazut aici, tu esti nimeni si tu tai ploaia cu unde interioare, in timp ce incerc sa iti explic ca placerea si durerea coexista, doar ca sunt in spatii diferite.

In loc sa discutam despre separarea noastra in negru mai bine te intorci in vis candva, intoarce-te acasa, singurul loc in care distanta nu conteaza.

You and I are a mountain of grief and we will never meet in this life, if only you could send me at midnight a greeting through the stars.